Jokes

1:In a school function
A K.G boy started
closing his ears with
both hands,
when girl was about
to start her speech .
Others asked him
Why are you closing your
ears?
He replied: Dude, She is
my Girlfriend and She is
gonna start her speech
with
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.
.
.
.
My Dear
Brothers and Sisters ;)
2:Height of bravery for girls.
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Moving out of house Without makeup.
...
Strange but true:)

3:A very drunk man comes out of the bar and sees another very drunk man.
He looks up in the sky and says, "Is that the sun or the moon?"
The other drunk man answers, "I don't know. I'm a stranger here myself."

4:A: Doctor, will I be able to play the piano after the operation?
B: Yes, of course.
A: Great! I never could before!

5:Teacher: Tell me a sentence that starts with an "I".
Student: I is the...
Teacher: Stop! Never put 'is' after an "I". Always put 'am' after an "I".
Student: OK. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.

6:Two cows are standing in a field.
One says to the other "Are you worried about Mad Cow Disease?"
The other one says "No, It doesn't worry me, I'm a horse!"

7:Teacher: How can we get some clean water?
Student: Bring the water from the river and wash it.

8:A guy says to his friend, "Guess how many coins I have in my pocket."
The friends says, "If I guess right, will you give me one of them?"
The first guys says, "If you guess right, I'll give you both of them!"


9:A: Meet my new born brother.
B: Oh, he is so handsome! What's his name?
A: I don't know. I can't understand a word he says.

10:Q: What letter of the alphabet is an insect? 
A: B. (bee)

Q: What letter is a part of the head? 
A: I. (eye)

Q: What letter is a drink? 
A: T. (tea)

Q: What letter is a body of water? 
A: C. (sea)

Q: What letter is a pronoun like "you"? 
A: The letter " I "

Q: What letter is a vegetable? 
A: P. (pea)

Q: What letter is an exclamation? 
A: O. (oh!)

Q: What letter is a European bird? 
A: J. (Jay)

Q: What letter is looking for causes ? 
A: Y. (why)

Q: What four letters frighten a thief? 
A: O.I.C.U. (Oh I see you!)

Q: What comes once in a minute, twice in a moment but not once in a thousand years? 
A: The letter "m".

Q: Why is the letter "T" like an island ? 
A: Because it is in the middle of waTer.

Q: In what way can the letter "A" help a deaf lady? 
A: It can make "her" "hear.

Q: Which is the loudest vowel? 
A: The letter "I". It is always in the midst of noise

Q: What way are the letter "A" and "noon" alike? 
A: Both of them are in the middle of the "day".

Q: Why is "U" the happiest letter? 
A: Because it is in the middle of "fun".

Q: What word of only three syllables contains 26 letters? 
A: Alphabet = (26 letters)

Q: What relatives are dependent on "you"? 
A: Aunt, uncle, cousin. They all need "U".

Q: What is the end of everything? 
A: The letter "g".


11:A: I'm in a big trouble!
B: Why is that?
A: I saw a mouse in my house!
B: Oh, well, all you need to do is use a trap.
A: I don't have one.
B: Well then, buy one.
A: Can't afford one.
B: I can give you mine if you want.
A: That sounds good.
B: All you need to do is just use some cheese in order to make the mouse come to the trap.
A: I don't have any cheese.
B: Okay then, take a piece of bread and put a bit of oil in it and put it in the trap.
A: I don't have oil.
B: Well, then put only a small piece of bread.
A: I don't have bread.
B: Then what is the mouse doing at your house?